JutrasDear Mom:As much I love you and never wish to hurt you, I have to wonder if you remember what I was like growing up at all. Especially the times when I get the urge to simply kill myself, I think about how much you kept me from being the person I really am inside. Although your buying me a Raggedy Ann doll when I was little gave me hope that someday you'd understand me. Understand that even in my dreams when I'm asleep, I'm a girl.Even during potty training you might recall that I preferred to use to the public stalls and sit down to pee, even if I had to wait for a free stall. That is something I kept up right up to first grade. Then I only went standing when I had to.While I did play with matchbox cars and such, I preferred games of dress up with your high heels, make up when alone over games like backyard football. Feeling like a couldn't talk to you about my feelings at the time because I love you and knew it would of embarrassed you, I could never bring myself to ask for. Every weekend, me and my wife go to Sauna. Last Saturday we did the same. We prefer to wear swimming trunks in general when we are there. She had a tanga bikini but she was covering her underbelly with a towel but the room was too hot as it supposes to be and she just sit on the towel but not cover her underbelly anymore.Approximately 10 minutes later 3 men entered room. We learned that they were American soldiers in Poland. All of them look very athletic but after I learnt that they are American soldiers, I was relieved, because I thought soldiers will be gentlemen. We started to talk with them. They were and especially one of them who named Kevin were very friendly and talkative people. At some place of the conversation, my wife told that she had back pain and that's why she needed to relax and she came to sauna.Then I noticed that Kevin got excited and he immediately mentioned that he knows how to do massage and he can help her to relieve her pain at least temporarily. My wife.
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